Breakin' The Cycle

[angelndisguise]

Often times people attend church for reasons other than receiving the Word. For example, it is very common to find many generations of the SAME family all worshiping at the SAME church for as far back as the church records can take us! At first glance this may not seem to be a problem, but what if all of the members of that family are not growing spiritually? Why do some feel as though they must stay and be stagnate instead of searching for a better spiritual fit? Fellowship, as we all know is a major component in the church experience, but is fellowship with family and friends enough to keep you? Should we try to keep the family together or should we support and encourage them to spread their wings if they desire to do so?

[BigRoc]

I was wondering this question myself. If you are hungry and there is no more to eat at the table you are at shouldn't you go look at another table? Especially when the table you are at is not replenishing itself. People starve and die because of peer/family pressure, thats crazy! Family pressure can kill you. Whoever when you decide to break against the "norm" of the family it can put you on the outside looking in. For people family is all they have and want to be "loved" and will deprive themselves for this "love". True Love though comes from within and pours itself out.

[BishopMuTu]

Yowzer!! - Excellent question! This is something that I have always wondered. Is it generational that we just continue to go to the same church as a family? How does this "pattern" speak to our practice of religion itself - in other words - are we just experiencing a certain religion or denomination because historically our family has always done so?

Humans do this in most all we do - politics, education, marriage, drug abuse, alcohol - the majority of us act out what we see and have been exposed to. Why do you think it's a "big deal" when little Johnnie conquers the ghetto and "makes something of himself"? It's because we generally associate and understand that we act out what we see - not that it's right or wrong - just life.

So, back to the topic. I think that alot of people, if not most, are influenced heavily by the family circle to worship a certain way. Maybe the family circle is "right" in their worship - but ultimately the influence is alot stronger than the principles that make up the worship.

[BigRoc]

A lot of times the only times people would see each other is at church. Is that wrong? I do feel that people need to spread there wings and fly were they can be feed. When one feels this way, the person should go to the pastor and let him/her know how and why they feel the need to leave.

All to often people want to run away or leave without steppin up and doing it th right way. You would provide a notice to your job and man why not do the same for your spiritual leader and family! The person should ask for a letter to submit to other church the wish to join. Also they should discuss the situation with family members of the church and friends who may be "effected" by this decision.

I feel these steps can remove the conflict one may face in leaving a place they have called home for years. Change is apart of life. Its how you deal with change and how you present it to others that makes the difference.

[mektrapp]

This is a great question. Some times people feel shame to go out and be fed elsewhere due to the "elders" of the church shaming them or making them feel like an outcast just for going to other churches to get the word. It is also often said that other churches are "stilling the members". In my opinion, no one is stilling the members. Just because they go to different churches doesn't mean that they are not still God's children. We as Christians need to look at the bigger picture. We have to look past “people” and go where we can be fed spiritually no matter what any one says. We are the ones that will have to answer to God and not them (people). Your family should love you no matter what the situation is or where you go. Friends may leave you but your family should always be there.

[BigRoc]

Isn't there a difference between being spiritually feed and being spiritally involved/comfortable? How does the way you feel have to do with being "spiritually feed"? Is the reason people leave places is because they want to be "involved" in the ministry/church and can't or don't know how?
Do you leave because the place isn't "involving"/ "servicing" all the members of your household?
There will never be a "perfect church" and if you find one they will not let you in because you are not perfect. Just know this before you leave! If people are not getting spiritually feed doesn't that mean God isn't present at that place? If God does the feeding and you are not receiving would that mean that either you are not in a place within yourself to receive The Word or it isn't in that building you go to worship?

Let me know what you think

Go where God wants you to be. Family or no Family...What God says should always lead you.

[mektrapp]

T-Roy makes a good point. At the same time, I do believe people have a way of getting the word to different people/audience. Just like in school, some teachers could teach a subject and make it so plan that you understand the subject well and you pass you grade with an “A”. Then there are some teachers that no matter how hard you try to understand, you just couldn’t get it. It gets frustrating and you are honestly trying to learn and do it but it just isn’t clicking. So you barely pass with a “D”. Just because you didn’t understand doesn’t mean you other classmates didn’t. Sometime you have to be where you can understand. There is no need to continue to go to your “family church” and you are not getting anything from it. This is when you should pray and ask for guidance on the situation.

[BigRoc]

Mektrapp- I understand where you are coming from! You are right that a person should pray and seek guidance but whose guidance? If that person says God then how do they know its God speaking when they themselves can Not hear God?
In your example the student didn't do as well/comprehend the material that was taught to them, right? Well then can the student expect to be able to hear God when they can't hear God through the instrument(the teacher)?

The student/person must examine themselves. If God is speaking through the teacher and they can't hear Him it must be the student. If God isn't speaking through the teacher then can you say you are not getting spiritually feed.

[mektrapp]

Another example may share a little light on this subject. Ok, contemporary gospel. Some people can relate and others think it’s wrong. Some people can learn differently. So putting a message with a beat, some people can understand, feel, and be fed spiritually where as some people no matter how hard they try, they just can’t understand the songs/ music of the contemporary artist. I do, however, believe it depends on the generation in which you were born. Is it right, I don’t know but I do believe it has something to do with it? I don’t know if anyone has been to an “old” church, with an older pastor, and older members. Sometimes they (older preachers) can be saying some things and you, being younger, wondering what is he saying or what is he talking about. But, you look around and the older saints are all into what he is saying and they are worshiping and engaging back with their AmAns! I just think it helps to be where you learn best. Just like Sunday school. They are broken down to levels, as far as your age, so that you can learn on that age level. It makes no since to put a toddler in the Sunday School Class with the adults and expect them to learn the material the same.